The Career Clinic Blog

When I was a cocktail waitress the bartenders spent a lot of time straining mangled corks from the wine in bottles I tried to open.

No one had shown me how to do that, and I never thought to ask. It looked so simple. Thread the corkscrew down the cork, position that little bottle-opener thingy, slowly pull back. At which point the cork crumbled, every time.

It took us a while to figure out what I was doing wrong. Instead of just placing the corkscrew in the center of the cork and slowly turning, I muscled it down. As if it needed help! I took something simple, something easy--and made it difficult. I hate to admit this, but it’s a bit of a pattern with me.

The Career Clinic vignette is a bite-sized version of the talk show and we got some advice recently for how to make it better. I was sounding a bit forced. That’s probably the best--and the kindest--way to put it. What I thought was enthusiastic came off as a little much. How embarrassing! And how wonderful to have people around me who care enough about me--and our work--to tell me the truth.

I’m excited to see what else I can improve on, now. Like a true journalist, I’ll keep experimenting--and reporting back on the results.

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You know that rule “everyone” thinks is so golden? I think it’s arrogant. I’m not alone. One of my guests on the show thought so, too--not that I needed the validation. But you might!

You might also relate to why we feel this way. Doing unto others as you would have them do unto you assumes they’re anything at all…like you.

Why don’t you do unto others as they would like to be done unto?

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When my little brother was really little someone asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. His answer: “A stop sign.”

Now that we’re quite a bit older and--I think--a little bit wiser, I’m pretty sure he was on to something.

What if people thought about you as a stop sign? A sign to stop with the glowing rectangles because talking with you in person is so much fun. A sign to stop complaining about life and set about changing it because you’re a great example that happiness is possible. A sign to stop just for the (hell) of it--because you can’t remember the last time you were worse off for getting some rest, for crying out loud.

I’m pretty sure you’d be making the world a better place.

Go!

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Today’s burst of inspiration is in the form of an employee handbook.

I know. I couldn’t believe it, either.

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There’s a wonderful expression that goes something like, “If you aren’t playing in a big enough game, you’ll mess up the game you’re playing just to give yourself something to do.”

That will be all.

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“Isn’t that a little young to be giving up on your dreams?” I asked Darrell about a gal we know. I can’t remember what he said. I was too busy with my followup: “Somebody got to her…”

Putting that question to her was…out of the question. I’d learned my lesson.

It gnawed at me, though. I had to do something.

Oh. I know! How about advancing a project I’d been putting off?

And faster than you can read this sentence, I did.

Because I’m a little young to be giving up on my dreams.

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Once upon a time I thought I knew what someone--gorgeous, smart, funny--should be doing with his life. He was a doctor, but that personality! Why wasn’t he on television? Really. He’d be perfect. I lit up whenever he entered the room, knowing I’d be laughing--hard--before he left. He had charisma.

Rumor had it he wasn’t happy “just” being a doctor. No wonder. He was only using a fraction of his gifts.

I’d grown up with the man. I knew him really well.

One day I was having lunch with the guru to the career advice gurus, and I asked him about the doctor: “What should I do?”

My friend, the guru, didn’t hesitate. He answered by making that washing your hands gesture. It was obvious, then, what should’ve been obvious to begin with. As much affection as the doctor and I had for each other, this was none of my business.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is mind your own business. That’s your job.

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Our inability to keep houseplants alive is rivaled only by our inability to keep goldfish alive.

So imagine our surprise when--after burying dead goldfish next to our little rosebush because it was as good a place as any--that little rosebush turned into some kind of freaking rose tree. I am not kidding. One minute we’re plotting the demise of our goldfish cemetery. Seemingly the next? A consultation with the woman at our local greenhouse who’d never seen anything like it.

Eventually it was time to move that freak of nature outdoors, which is where this story ends. The way it began--with our not-so-green thumbs.

I wouldn’t have mentioned it, but I recently had the pleasure of talking with Mike McGroarty. Ever heard of blooming where you’re planted? That’s Mike. He says if you love to garden you might be able to make money at that. You might be able to make a lot of money. He even has a money-back guaranteed program to help you get started.

Get growing!

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What’s the finish line? 18 Minutes author Peter Bregman thought that was a great question, just as I realized I knew the answer.

Which is to have so much fun you’re not sitting around contemplating questions about the supposed finish line. Have fun, and learn a lot. Forget about time management. Peter says it’s an illusion. The only way to have more time for what you love is to spend less time on what you don’t. The only way to have more time for what you really love is to spend less time on what you only kind of love.

You won’t be able to read every book or watch every movie or ski every mountain that enchants. So what? Do you want to waste even one second of the time you have left wishing there was more of it? How about spending less time powering through your to-do lists and more time whittling those down?

I’ll start.

I took Do the Work and Poke the Box off my list of books to read. Talking with Peter made it official. I’m going to remember those titles, and call it good!

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What Color Is Your Parachute? author Dick Bolles inspired me to look for work I loved so much it brought tears to my eyes to think about. That’s what happened when I read about the Public Radio Talent Quest in 2007. I teared up. And with Darrell’s help and just so much encouragement, I entered the contest.

I didn’t win. I didn’t even come close. Unless you count winning as the fun we had putting my audition together, reading all the nice things people said about it, and deciding to go for the dream after all.

Which I do!

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